Category Archives: Personal Experiences

As A Christian…

Throughout my spiritual journey as a Christian, I’ve experienced, learned, and discovered my purpose- to serve the Almighty God. Being a Christian isn’t the easiest path you can choose, but I truly believe it’s the right one. Today’s society is very anti-Christian, but I know that even if the world is against me, God will never be. 

As it says in Romans 12:2- “Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.”

Even though I’m most likely the youngest generation so far, I still have formed my own opinions- one of which is: Jesus Christ is my Lord and Savior. There are a several points I want to make in this blog post, and in no way am I trying to condemn anyone or be offensive. Society nowadays are very anti-Christian; although, some people may refute that claim- it’s true. Now, not all people are like this, because I know some amazing non-Christians that are nicer than Christians. However, I fear that the growing hatred towards Christianity has quadrupled over the last decade.

A few points that I’d like to point out:

1. Some non-Christians think that Christians are hypocrites by actions such as refusing to go to certain places or act in a way that they don’t like. If anyone refuses to do something, you shouldn’t immediately think that they’re being hypocrites- it’s their personal decision.

2. Christians are claimed as hypocrites because we’re not “loving” or “kind” enough. Not all people can be perfect all the time, nor do we expect humans to be perfect. Christianity isn’t based on “self-perfection.” In reality, we’re one of the only religions that actually claim to be sinners and need grace so that we may be saved.

3. Now, some so-called “Christians are hypocrites, but have you ever considered that they aren’t really Christians? I know a lot of people who claim to have the same faith as me but are openly falling for temptations, going against the Bible, using the Lord’s name in vain left and right, and committing hypocrisy daily. In this case, they are hypocrites. The other reason may be that they’re new Christians that are struggling with their current sins. Christians don’t expect each other to be perfect but personify Jesus Christ in every day life- therefore not sinning. However, we’re still humans- we mess up, find ourselves tempted, and walk in the opposite direction of what God wants us to do.

4. Christians are not all “turn or burn” people. We’re not trying to threaten, force, or condemn you because you’re not Christian like us. If you’re not interested in Christianity at all, then don’t take offense if someone tries to talk to you about it- you can always walk away or refuse the idea- but don’t be rude. Society is already bashing our heads on concrete walls, please be patient and respectful. A lot of Christians “tolerate” you, so “tolerate” them.

5. Everyone’s spiritually growing at their own pace, so don’t expect a new Christian to be able to answer questions that a more experienced Christian can. Even matured Christians may not even know the answers to the questions- we’re just being honest.

6. God is a loving God, and He is a just God! I haven’t read the entire Bible and am not the perfect interpreter (no human is), but I’ve seen this case come up a lot. People like to blame God and Christians by saying, “My (family member/friend/other) was a good person, so why did she/he get cancer/illness/other?” Then, they ask, “If your God is a loving God, then why did this happen?” My answer: yes, he’s a loving God, but he’s also a just God. All the bad consequences roots from the first sin (we are sinners); he’s not the one directing the misfortunes in your life or anyone else’s’. In the Bible, it says that He is loving, but has to punish our sins- in that manner, he acts as the final judge and is just. Since He is perfect; He can’t allow imperfection, but when we accept Jesus Christ into our lives, our slates are cleared and we will live with God forever in Heaven. 

Discussions are fine, but please refrain from writing/posting mean, rude, or inconsiderate comments. Also, this post isn’t trying to convert anyone; I’m simple writing what I’ve learned/experienced over the last few years. 


Living Through Trials

As of 2014, my life changed forever. This may seem like a big exaggeration, but for the most part, it’s true. I learned about my grandmother’s heart condition near the middle of that year. There were many complications that prevented the doctors from fixing the problem at hand. My grandmother (on my dad’s side) was very weak and had went through open heart surgery without having anything done. The surgeons went in and found that they were unable to perform the heart surgery because of various complications. Unfortunately, they learned this, after they did all the pre-work. Each visit to the doctor, the amount of complications piled up. Honestly, it was devastating. And, here I was, living on the other side of the country, not able to do anything but simply pray for her recovery.

In one of the last doctor’s visits, my grandmother found out that she had something going on in her brain. There was fluids that would affect the surgery, and the surgeons couldn’t operate on both her heart and her brain at the same time. Their main priority for my grandmother’s surgery was now to find a large enough vein to put the tube vital to the surgery. After many worries and prayers, they found that way. The surgery was a few weeks or maybe even a month later, and it was a success! I truly believe that God was with my family the entire step of the way. However, that happiness soon took a turn for the worse on the other side of my family, my grandmother’s cancer.

My grandmother (on my mom’s side) had humongous bumps underneath her arms, and she was having trouble breathing. After a checkup at the doctor, she found that there was a possibility that she could’ve had lymphoma (a type of cancer). They weren’t 100% sure that she had cancer, so they made her take the test for it. She tested positive for lymphoma. Her lymph nodes inside of her body were swollen, and she hadn’t had a mammogram in years, so they couldn’t have prevented it earlier. The lymph nodes were suffocating her, since they were blocking her airway.

For a while, my grandmother stayed in the hospital, and she was weak and tired. Most of the time, she didn’t want to eat, but my family made sure that she did. I visited her along with my mother several times to check up on her, and we wanted to hear the doctor’s prognosis. Now that I look back, everyone was really desperate. My aunt was against the doctor’s suggestions most of the way, but my mother and my cousin didn’t let her interfere. After all, the doctor has a medical degree and knows what he’s doing.

There was a life-alternating choice that my grandmother had to make: whether or not she wanted to go through chemotherapy. The actual chances of her cancer to go away was a bit slim, but the odds were sure to get better. My grandmother’s answer was needed either that day or the next, and after some discussion, she decided to go through chemotherapy. If she hadn’t taken the chemotherapy, she probably wouldn’t have been here today. The cancer was so bad that if she hadn’t gone through the chemotherapy, she would’ve died in the next six months or less. The cancer had grown so much without her even detecting it, until the effects showed on her skin as cancerous bumps.

In all honesty, these horrendous things that were going on in my family didn’t seem to hit me. I was still in school at the time, so I wasn’t able to get a lot of details or information, and I was going about my day without thinking. I love my family, but the illnesses and surgeries didn’t affect me, until my mother showed her true feelings about the cancer. If she hadn’t talked with me about it, I might’ve bursted. Since I didn’t see my grandparents (on both sides) that much, it was hard for me to understand. However, I do clearly remember that I cried about my grandmother’s cancer, a lot. In it all, I think that my mother was one of the people who were effected the most. I don’t know how my uncle and aunt took the news, but I’m sure they were heartbroken as well.

My mother’s sad face is something that I don’t see often. It breaks my heart to see her crying, but she’s only human. This was the only way she could let her emotions all out. Those days were very hard for me. Luckily, I was able to visit my grandmother on some of the weekends, depending on my crazy school schedule. I have to say, throughout the entire process, I had faith and hope that God would make a miracle occur, and He did.

As of this year, 2015, she went through another test to see if she needed more chemotherapies. She still needs to go through several more, however her future looks brighter than before. 90% of the cancer is gone, and she’s steadily getting better. This is truly a miracle, since without the treatment, she wasn’t even estimated to live this long.

Finally, I want to give my thanks to all the wonderful people who make my grandmother’s life worthwhile during this time. Even though she’s going through all these treatments, many people have been there to support her. Thank you so much for your time and effort!

Baby Log

Since last year, I have a new responsibility. On August 19, 2013, I became an older sister. Now, I’m not usually around him, because I live on the opposite side of the country, but when I do it’s fun (or so I thought). The new year rolled in, and he grew A LOT. It was only until a few days ago that I fully understood the hardships of being near a baby almost 24/7. Little Jayden is now able to climb, roll, and crawl.

For me, this was a great accomplishment for the little premie that’s catching up; however, not all changes are exactly beneficial. Of course, everyone wants their babies to grow up to be fine men and women, but the time in between must be truly hard. As I look back, I was pretty hyper little tyke, and probably talked more than I could process rational thoughts. In any case, I was loads of work.

Right now, I’m dealing with an eleven month baby that has yet to entertain himself, let alone fall asleep by himself. In the past few days, I didn’t have to deal with him, and leisurely fell asleep, until two nights ago. Screaming, crying, and more whining, came from the room just next to mine, it was unsurprisingly Jayden.

Thankfully, my mom spent the night with me at my dad’s place, because she was worried for my safety, being alone after eleven o’clock without a guardian. And, that simple act saved my life. A couple cries in the peaceful night, and I sprung up. Heading to the next room, I saw a fussy Jayden, who wouldn’t (couldn’t) go to sleep.

Fortunately, my mom was trying to get him to bed, but she had no luck. After all, babies wanted their mother. (Quick Note: Jayden is my half-brother, so my mom isn’t his actual parent). Anyways, he was turning in his crib, crying, and smelt terrible. My mom suggested changing his diaper, and that’s exactly what we did, after a half an hour of constant screaming.

After that, he was wide awake. Putting him in his crib, he just stared at us, then laughed. We too laughed as well, but it wasn’t good for him to be awake at around midnight. He was supposed to be asleep by eight to nine o’clock. A couple minutes before changing his diaper, I hastily texted my soon-to-be step-mom and dad, and asked for them to come home.

Of course, my dad decided to stay out until four AM, but my soon-to-be step-mom came. By that time, Jayden was all laughing and smiles. When my mom and I finally could rest easy, we heard a loud thump. Only later did I realize what happened (well I kind of did already). Jayden fell off the queen size bed next to his crib. Lisa (my soon-to-be step-mom) put him there because he liked sleeping there; but nevertheless, he fell.

Then, did we truly get a good night rest. Having a baby must be hard work, because I know just from the little time I’ve spent with Jayden, that he’s a hassle. Even eating, he climbs on the table at restaurants, and cries if no one is paying attention to him. It’s tiring, makes me want to yawn every single second I’m with him.

Last but not least, he’s one hard baby to put into a new diaper. My dad was literally flipping him to try and get his diaper on. Whilst doing so, he’s laughing. I feel like he’s secretly mocking us saying, “You’ll never succeed. Hahaha!” Other than that, he’s a wonderful little booger that I adore. Hopefully, he’ll become a very successful young man in the future. And, by that time, I’ll be old…Too bad.